When you rent a property, and you have your check in inventory, the lettings agent should bring you a brand new toilet seat. It should still be in its wrapping. Clearly unused. That's important. Maybe when you sign the financially crippling paperwork at the estate agents, there’s a little box by your signature which asks you to tick what your preference for your new seat is – plastic or wood. The former is, according to workmen I've spoken to, more hygienic.

Maybe to save the embarrassment, there wouldn't be a formal handover of the seat. Instead, the inventory clerk would nod nonchalantly in the direction of the seat. “It’s all yours now,” they might say. “Enjoy it.” Or they might choose to say nothing. The seat would be left in its wrapping in the corner. It’d be in the corner. You’d know it was for you.