Did you check the state of the step?

What was so urgent that you needed to stop what you were doing to sit down there?

There’s a café across the road. Could you not have sat in there?

Did you not think of at least grabbing a free newspaper or magazine to sit on?

There are so many free publications given away now, it wouldn’t have been a problem getting hold of one.

Today for instance is Shortlist day.

Tomorrow you could’ve gotten hold of an ES Magazine with the Standard.

Will you change into other clothes before sitting on your home furniture?

If you go to your lover’s place later, will you be honest enough to ask for some spare jogging bottoms and explain why, before you sit on his furniture or lie on his bed, as you wait for him to remove your clothes and make love to you?

Do you care enough about him anyway to tell him where you’ve been sitting?

Should you not have a shower first anyway, on the off-chance you might have sweated on the way? The chances are that your boyfriend, who would most probably have arrived at his flat before you, has showered in anticipation of a likely lovemaking session.